Healthy margins, tubs and Gongs

 

In one way it was a weight off my mind to be open about my diagnosis and treatment with folks. In another way I guess it made things real. Up to this point I'd been able to go over to The Hub and completely immerse myself in the day without thinking about the health stuff. However, the kindness and support that enveloped me far outweighed any downside of the reality check. Having said that, the week up to 'autopsy day' (as it had become known) was a pretty standard week. Relaxation and Meditation groups, 1:1 Coaching sessions, a Reiki 1 course and general drop-in stuff.

On Thursday 18th October Chris and I set off again for Burnley. The car park was full so Chris dropped me off and went to look for somewhere to park. I sat in the Breast Clinic re-running my previous appointment there. I think its fair to say I'd had enough of surgery. It had all been rather lovely and I couldn't fault the care I'd received but I really didn't want to be repeating the experience any time soon. However attractive the socks may have been and however welcome the post-op cuppa was, I'd had enough of being knocked out and cut up!

I was called in to see the surgeon before Chris arrived. We'd joked about her parking in Blackburn and getting the shuttle bus over but hadn't realised just how busy the car parks were. The friendly nurse who had been present at my very first specialist appointment said she'd look out for her and bring her in as soon as she arrived. And a couple of minutes later in panted Chris- just before the hoovering surgeon. Without any beating about the bush he told me straight away that everything was fine and I now had the right margin of good tissue around my Lumpy gap. I'm not sure what I felt but numb is the nearest word I have to describe the sensation.  A reassuring hug from my breast care nurse, a big cuddle with Chris and the start of arrangements to refer me to Oncology grounded me again and it was onwards and upwards and chocks away with the next appointment being booked for 25th October with the Oncologist.

It was good to call at home for the normality of a toasted teacake, a cuppa and a bit of a snuggle with Dexter and Nessidog. It was also good to go over to The Hub and relax in the gorgeous energy of the Thursday Lunchtime Meditation Circle. This is such a supportive and kind group. Lots of humour and laughter- a gathering of folks who generate genuine warmth and kindness. And it was good to be able to tell folks the good news that I was ready to move on to the next stage of treatment. However, hearing myself  sounding enthusiastic about having chemotherapy was another reality check. Yes, I was genuinely relieved not to need further surgery. But, this walk in the park still left me with a fair amount of dog poo to negotiate my way around.

There was a big group for Drumming so I stayed in reception and had a bit of time to let stuff settle in my head. Hearing the Chants and Mantra from the next room was lovely, especially Circle Chant as this has a real positive significance for me. All in all it was good to be at The Hub with Chris and get back to doing what we do. And we had a week before the next appointment. We used the time on Thursday evening before the Mindfulness group to plan the week ahead. We agreed I'd continue to do half days at The Hub and join Chris for the weekend Sound events if I felt up to it. And I promised to be honest and say if I didn't feel up to it!  

Chris and I had a trip to the garden centre during this week too. We'd found some vouchers from 12 years ago and called in to see if they were still valid and apparently they were as they didn't have a use by date. Fortunately they didn't insist we bought 12 year old plants so we treated ourselves to some new tubs. I really enjoyed pottering on the patio sorting some bulbs and winter flowering plants. Its ages since I'd done anything like this and I have to say, my feeling was that this was definitely a gift from the health situation.

On the Friday of that week I posted the first of these blogs and was absolutely blown away by the response.

As for the weekend Sound events, I loved them. Yes I was a bit knackered by Monday but it was a good knackered having played at Temple Gongs, Saturday's Community Sound Event and the Sunday Gong Bath in Accrington. Our Sound work isn't about performance and the numbers attending events isn't important as we believe the right people are always there. However, the big turn out for all three events this weekend felt significant somehow. I certainly felt supported, encouraged and loved.  And what a wholesome way to spend a weekend!

Liz x 

Temple Gong Meditation
                                                         Community Sound Event

 

Chorley Gong Bath                                                                         Accrington Sound Bath