The best laid plans!

The plan was, we'd go over to Burnley on 20th September for my 8.30am appointment then go to The Hub. It was Thursday afterall and there's no better place to be on a Thursday afternoon than The Harmony Hub! Our intention, once we'd got details of the next stage of my treatment, was to be open and tell folks I'd had breast cancer, had the tumour removed and now needed a bit of follow up treatment to get rid of any dodgy cells and prevent further problems. Myself, Chris and those closest to us had not taken lightly the decision to keep details of my health from people. We just felt it was important to keep the energy around us positive and also didn't want folks worrying about me. It felt cleaner and healthier to wait until there was a positive way forward to share. I felt a sense of relief as we set off for the hospital that this was the day I could finally start to be honest and open.


My armpit was still a bit tender but so much less painful and the scar from where Lumpy was removed was healing nicely. All appeared well and the surgeon was quite rightly pleased with his handiwork. He explained what it was OK for me to do and what it was not OK for me to do. I suggested washing up and hoovering might be placed on the 'not to do' list but he went on to extol the virtues and health benefits of hoovering! As he demonstrated the action involved all I could picture was this lovely, dignified medic in drag singing 'I want to break free!' The breast care nurse present looked shocked and asked him "What? Do you hoover?" "Yes, yes, you need a Dyson!" he replied. I wondered for a moment if there was some subliminal advertising borne out of a secret NHS sponsorship deal going on here, but sent the thought packing immediately!

All was well and we could look to move on to the next stage of treatment. There was just one tiny little cloud in the sky. The way the pathology report had been written up was 'a bit strange' and my surgeon was just waiting to hear back from the lab to confirm it was a clerical issue and not a problem. I asked what this meant and he explained it was to do with the margin of healthy tissue around where the tumour had been. The worst scenario was I'd need a bit more surgery but it was likely that the problem lay in the way the report had been written. The pathologist wasn't available yet as it was only 8.45am and we were told we could go home and they'd 'phone me or we could wait. We opted to stay and sat in the waiting room- feeling a bit stunned to be honest.  

After a short time, we were called back in to see the consultant and given the news that I would need a second operation as I was 50mm short of the amount of clear tissue required. I won't pretend I wasn't gutted at this news. Chris once again asked all the right questions as I retracted into my own little world for a while to dip my toes in the pool of self pity. The date of the surgery was unsure- possibly three weeks away on 10th October. This seemed an eternity off and threw a spanner in the works of our plan to go to The Hub and tell folks what was happening. Instead we went home, made a cup of tea and  just sat with this news for a while.

On the way out of the unit we'd bumped into my allocated breast care nurse. She'd asked how I was and I didn't really respond as she was with another patient and I didn't really have the words. Later that afternoon she 'phoned me and explained again what the bigger picture was. She was also able to give me the good news that it was likely I could have the surgery sooner on 3rd October. This reassurance was a real boost. That evening I dipped into my own personal toolkit in order to lead the first session of  the scheduled Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course. Being in the cosy energy of The Hub surrounded by positive folks was a real tonic and I went home and slipped into a deep, healing sleep. 

The following week I was mostly occupied with preparations for Brave The Shave and a Retreat so there was little time, and little point, in giving too much thought to Lumpy's revenge. And what a lovely week it turned out to be! The perfect group came together for a Reiki 1 course, a couple of powerful Relaxation and Meditation sessions and lots of positivity at The Hub. Donations for Brave The Shave far exceeded any expectations we may have had and people really pulled out the stops in supporting the '#111happyhats' posts.

The hat thing did cause a few scary moments for one lovely lady as she came round after a deep healing treatment only to find me standing there with an elephant's head. I did think of whipping it off and telling her it must have been a visitation from Ganesh. However, I've never seen a Ganesh with pink fluffy ears so I opted instead to apologise and offer her a cuppa. Definitely a reminder to me to remember what's on my head at all times!

Liz x