Yoga and Sound Decisions

It felt like quite a gap from surgery on 3rd October until I could get the results on 18th. (Perhaps I needed that gap to learn that the word for the results was 'biopsy' and not 'autopsy' as I seemed to have slipped into calling it.) Would Lumpy finally be banished? Would I be able to now move on to the next stage of treatment? The truth is I'd been feeling a bit 'stuck' due to needing the second surgery. However, two weeks is a long time- too long a time to waste on negativity and worry. And what perfect distraction from negative health thoughts- our Autumn Yoga and Sound Retreat. And once again I found myself in exactly the right place with exactly the right company.

I love the Yoga and Sound Retreats. Jenny's teaching, knowledge, enthusiasm and grounded good sense are absolutely inspirational. The balance of theory, stillness and Yoga practice is just right. And these Retreats attract some rather special folks. The build up effect of the Retreat House meant it didn't take long for me to get back to the calm I'd felt the previous weekend on our Reiki 2 Retreat. And having the dogs there in the camper van for the second weekend in a row meant that Ella was more   
                                                     relaxed. The calmness and space were much   
                                                     appreciated as I had some thinking to do. It was  
starting to become clear that I needed to be more 
open about what I was calling 'the health stuff'. Early Saturday morning I took my coffee and sat on the bench up on the pagoda where the wisteria and honeysuckle merge and did me a bit of thinking. As I've written before, in my mind, I needed to get to the point where I could tell folks I'd had breast cancer,   had it removed and now needed a bit of further treatment to clean up any remaining dodgy cells. This was the point where I'd be comfortable to be open and tell people. The need for the second operation threw a spanner in the works somewhat and I needed to review my thoughts around all this. The safety of the Retreat House was the prefect place for this and I was aware of changes taking place in my thinking throughout the weekend. This started with that morning cuppa as I began to separate out the facts in the situation from my feelings about them. 

It was a joy to share the weekend with both Jenny and Chris. I'm not surprised that Chris's eyes are closed on this photo as she must have been tired as every spare moment on the Friday evening and throughout Saturday was spent finishing off the written elements in her Sound Therapy course. The down side of being so laid back is that Chris's urgency gene has withered away over the years and the deadline had crept up on her unawares. Significant nagging from me and a few others had galvanised her into action and she'd worked so hard over the previous few weeks. Not easy when you're also supporting a partner through health stuff. Meeting that deadline has elevated Chris to Saintdom in my reckoning. And her grounded, ego-free approach to Sound work is so refreshing and benefits so many people in so many ways.

The Saturday evening Yoga Nidra session was particularly poignant for me with Jenny's strong yet gentle Yoga relaxation followed by powerful Gongs from Chris taking me into a deep healing space. In truth I felt like I'd been hit over the dead with a shovel at the end of the session and it took a while for me to be able to move and get to bed. Overnight I gained some clarity with various discussions and comments coming back to me during my sleep. That Pluto Gong has never failed to give me a boot up the Root Chakra whenever I have needed one!

On many occasions during this weekend I heard words coming out of my mouth that were as relevant to myself as they were to whoever I was talking to. There was the Autumnal theme of letting go and releasing what no longer serves us. Preparing for the dormant time of winter which creates space for new life and projects to gestate. And the recurring teaching that whenever we make time for ourselves, the benefits of this radiate out to everyone we come into contact with. Richard Bach's words from 'Illusions' kept popping back into my mind- "You teach best what you most need to learn !". 

Chris led a Drumming and Chanting Circle on Sunday as I prepared lunch and this finished with the whole group drumming into the kitchen with the most powerful affirmation ever-
"Every little cell in my body is happy,
  Every little cell in my body is well.
  I can tell, every little cell,
  Every little cell in my body is well!"
  That says it all really!



One of the things I love most about working with Jenny is she really gets the importance of anchoring the Retreat experience with a significant and interactive closing session. And the Mandala we constructed from 'Autumn Treasures' was a perfect example of this. The group collected the treasures during their individual walks on Saturday. Free time in which some opted to walk up to the castle and do some Yoga whilst others chose a more local walk in nature to check out an apparent sanctuary for wonky sheep! As a group we silently constructed the Mandala whilst reflecting on the weekend and what we would individually take from it.

My own learning was about accepting the need to nurture myself with the 'winter' perspective that this wouldn't be forever and the hibernation time allows the possibility of new life, new ideas and new possibilities to quietly germinate within. 

 

 

Liz x

 

You can leave your hat on!

  

We arrived for surgery at 7.30am on 3rd October. It was lovely to be greeted by the same nurse who had been so kind to us four weeks earlier at my first operation. I felt quite self-conscious about my baldness. With so many folks on the unit having lost their hair through treatment, it felt almost frivolous that I had chosen to have mine shaved off. I explained to the nurse about the 'Brave The Shave' and she was great about it. She told me about her own chemotherapy treatment a few years previous and was really reassuring about the whole hair loss thing. I noticed that she went on to make a point of telling the other medics who came to see me that I was bald through raising funds for MacMillan. Each one of them was so positive and appreciative.

Once again I was given my pristine white socks and reassured by the anaesthetic nurse. The surgeon too was lovely and there was something strangely comforting about his honesty. He couldn't guarantee I wouldn't need further surgery after this operation but he did promise me he would do his very best to make sure I didn't. With this he whipped out his trusty felt pen and drew a big blue arrow that, funnily enough, was almost the same shade as the nipple it was pointing at! Though I still had a dressing due to the rebellious lymphedema in my left armpit, I was told to just leave it and they'd 'sort it out' under anaesthetic. 

This time round I wasn't first on the list and this allowed me more of an insight into the workings of the ward. It really is a remarkable mixture of busy, efficient procedure and gentle individual kindness. I did get a bit anxious at one point. Am not sure where it came from but I sat with it and felt the Reiki start to melt it away as I gave attention to my breath and physical relaxation then chose to let my mind drift to a place of peace and calm. This is a technique I use when the present moment is crap. I dip in temporarily to a different moment to resource myself with positivity and calmness. Bringing this back to the present moment gives me a peaceful resilience. On this occasion my place of peace and calm was the front room of my Nana's bungalow. The smell of geraniums- old lady window camouflage so they can watch the world go by undetected. The sound of the shilling hitting the bottom of the meter tray as I turned the handle after inserting the coin. The feel of the fabric of the sofa against my little legs. The smell of newly baked scones. And breathe... After this I turned to my phone for a distraction and, as if by magic, there were just the right messages from just the right people that helped me settle and just Be.

Eventually, I walked with the anaesthetic nurse through to the small room next to theatre where they do what they do to help patients drift off so calmly. Once again I felt a bit of a nob lying there wearing my hat. Am not sure if the nurse picked this up but she spoke to the anaesthetist and mentioned it was a bit chilly. The anaesthetist looked at me and said, "OK, you can leave your hat on!" And with that, I slipped into a Full Monty/Tom Jones slumber. I'm sure its not unusual! 

The next thing I remember was waking up to a smiling nurse asking me if I was in any pain. This time I didn't feel brilliant to be honest. My armpit was throbbing and this turned into a sharp pain if I moved. The nurse had morphine to hand and gave me part of the syringe. Nope- the pain persisted so she gave me the rest of it. This must have been quite a dose as hives appeared on my arm. However, they disappeared very quickly- as did the pain. 


Next came that wonderful cup of tea- in fact this time I got two! My only disappointment was when my sandwich arrived and the little sachet of mayonnaise turned out to be a hand wipe.

The surgeon came to see me holding up both his hands with his fingers crossed! He was optimistic I now had the right margin of healthy tissue around where Lumpy had been. I wasn't sure how confident the crossed fingers made me feel but, once again, I had to admire his honesty! He also explained that he'd done 'a bit of work' in my armpit to clean it up. (It was a few days later when I changed the dressing that I saw he'd completely opened up the wound, cleaned it out and re-sewn it. No wonder it was so sore after surgery but what a neat job he'd made of it too.)

Chris came to collect me and we came home to a snuggled up evening with the beasties. Maybe it was the morphine, but I slept well and felt really good and positive when I woke. There was none of the 'wired' feeling I'd had after the first surgery and I felt quite energised. It really did feel as though something had lifted, or been removed. I had had concerns about the things I'd got planned the week following surgery. My breast care nurse had said I'd be fine and the planned Yoga and Sound Retreat would do me good. Now, after surgery, I started to believe she was right and began to look forward with a renewed energy.

Liz x

Digging deep- my toolkit

Without a doubt, 'Brave The Shave' was a bit of a significant point in this funny old journey. I remember going upstairs afterwards, looking in the mirror and saying to myself, "Fuckinell you look ill!"
There then followed a Party Political Broadbast on behalf of the 'Don't you dare go into self-pity and tell yourself you're ill' Party!

I knew it was time to dig deep into the toolkit I'd accumulated throughout my life of 30 years in Teaching and the previous ten years of Reiki, NLP, Drumming, Mindfulness Meditation, The Gongs, EFT, Hypnotherapy, IEMT..... It's all very well listing these things on a CV, but how many of them had I really internalised? Each bit of studying, every course, all the books I'd read, everything I've done on my journey has equipped me with 'tools'. Some of these tools are sharp and ready for daily use. Some lurk in the bottom of my toolkit for specific or occasional use. Without a doubt, Reiki is the most powerful, most accessible and most ubiquitous tool in my kit. I might even say (stealing a phrase from my awesome NLP teacher) that it is my Swiss Army knife.

Reiki changed my life. I was intrigued after the first treatment I received. I didn't understand it but something felt so natural, so deep, so ancient and so very right. I craved the calmness that treatments gave me. After a while, someone explained to me that it is possible to do 'self-healing'. So that wonderful peaceful wholeness is possible anytime? How could that be? I went on to learn about the Attunement process. Like a powerful Reiki treatment and the way the Reiki Energy is passed from Master to student. There were some obstacles on my road to Attunement. At the time this was frustrating. My first potential Reiki Master told  me I 'wasn't ready' and must sort my head out before I could be Attuned. My belief was that I needed Reiki to help me sort my head out. That was a 'never the twain' difference that I now give thanks for as it allowed me to be absolutely certain that Reiki was for me. So I found a Reiki Master who would work with me and explained I just wanted this for me. I was adamant I didn't want to be a therapist. I believe my words were 'I don't want to be one of those middle aged women in polyester frocks doing woo woo shit'!  So I spent an emotional but rather wonderful day in Clitheroe learning the History of Reiki, stuff about Chakras, Meditating, learning how to do the self-treatment and receiving the precious Attunement.  My first Reiki certificate has 'Self Healing Only' printed across the middle. This was about my journey, my wellbeing, my healing. And Reiki kick-started me down a new branch of my journey. Or perhaps it brought me back to a personal 'road less travelled'. My spiritual path- one I'd allowed to become overgrown and neglected since being told back in 1981 that I must choose between my sexuality and my spirituality.

I'll talk more about this Toolkit in later blogs I'm sure. There are other tools that have supported my journey massively- not least NLP and Mindfulness  which, combined with Reiki, can I believe change the world. But that's a blog for another day!  

For now, suffice it to say, Reiki changed my life. I am passionate about receiving, sharing and teaching Reiki and feel so good, so calm, so complete whenever I'm working in any way with Reiki. And the day after Brave The Shave I found myself setting off on a long-planned Reiki 2 Retreat.

This weekend up at the Retreat House was beautiful. The weather was glorious, the group were just perfect, the energy in the house was powerful and in Chris and Julie I had the perfect team.





I did start to become aware of my limitations and no way could I do the full-on stuff I normally do on Retreat but Julie and Chris quietly worked around me and gently made allowances when I got frustrated with myself.

One thing this weekend did was help me realise how much I'd missed Drumming and playing the Gongs and it was so good to spend time surrounded by them. By Saturday evening I was physically tired and did something I've never done on Retreat before. I rested! Chris and Julie led the evening session and I could hear from upstairs that folks were loving it. And this absolutely made my heart sing. Though there were a few little 'see, they don't need you' gremlins niggling and gnawing in my head.  

 

All in all, this was a powerful, blissful weekend of Healing supported by the most loving energy with the kindest, most authentic group of folks imaginable! The Retreat weekend was followed by a Reiki Share on the Monday evening and I think its fair to say this was the perfect preparation for surgery two days later. all really was well in my world!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Liz x

Braving the Shave

 

A rather lovely lady who runs the Peer Support Group at The Hub braved the shave earlier in the year. I read some of the information at the time about the fundraising work of MacMillan and decided I'd do the shave to coincide with the Macmillan coffee morning we have each year. I signed up in July to give me a couple of months of fund raising beforehand. Debra joined me just after my diagnosis at the beginning of August. At the start of September I set off on the #111happyhats posts. I was about to have surgery and knew this would be followed by chemotherapy and hair loss. By the time the shave came round I'd had one lot of surgery, been in Blackburn Royal with the Lymph infection and would be having my second bit of surgery the following week.  

 

Initially I think I thought the shave would be a good cover up for the chemo as folks would be used to me having no hair. I remember being quite shocked when my breast care nurse told me I'd probably lose my eye brows and eye lashes. Paul did suggest we take them off too at the shave but I felt that was a step too far!

 

Hub folks were awesome in the run up to the shave. Instead of one coffee morning we had 'Cuppa and Cake Days' with cakes, buns and biscuits appearing daily. And within this, so many people shared how MacMillan had helped them or family members.

 

27th September, the day of  'Brave The Shave' finally arrived and The Hub was buzzing! We had our usual lunchtime Relaxation and Meditation group and Drumming and Chanting Circle then at 4pm Paul revved his clippers up and set to at shaving my head. Unfortunately the machine broke (Liz's head 1 Clippers 0).

A rather resourceful Hubbit contacted a local hairdressers who agreed to loan us some clippers. These arrived within minutes and my shave continued. I'm still not 100% sure how the 666 appeared on the back of my head though Mr Sparks looks decidedly shifty on the video!

Debra had arranged to donate her lovely locks to the Little Princess Trust which provides wigs for children who experience hair loss due to cancer treatment. Two of our lovely Massage therapists Kelly (the Bolton Bruiser) and Kate (Chisel Fingers) were on hand to sort out preparations and carefully applied elastic bands as per the instructions. Before long, Vidal Sparks was methodically cutting Debra's hair too. And I have to say, he made a brilliant job of both our shaves. Debra's hair was bagged up ready for posting off to the Little Princess Trust. Sadly we were unable to find any alopecia-stricken hamsters who may appreciate my hair. 

This afternoon really was The Hub at its best. Folks of all ages coming together to support Debra and me and to do their very best for an excellent cause. True Community.

 

 

 



I checked my 'phone after we'd completed the shave and there was a missed call from Burnley hospital. Returning the call, I spoke to my breast care nurse who told me my surgery had been moved to the morning list on 3rd October. This reassured me as my previous experience was so positive. Things were feeling positive, I had a lovely weekend ahead of me on our Reiki 2 Retreat- all was well in my world. 

 

Liz x

 



The best laid plans!

The plan was, we'd go over to Burnley on 20th September for my 8.30am appointment then go to The Hub. It was Thursday afterall and there's no better place to be on a Thursday afternoon than The Harmony Hub! Our intention, once we'd got details of the next stage of my treatment, was to be open and tell folks I'd had breast cancer, had the tumour removed and now needed a bit of follow up treatment to get rid of any dodgy cells and prevent further problems. Myself, Chris and those closest to us had not taken lightly the decision to keep details of my health from people. We just felt it was important to keep the energy around us positive and also didn't want folks worrying about me. It felt cleaner and healthier to wait until there was a positive way forward to share. I felt a sense of relief as we set off for the hospital that this was the day I could finally start to be honest and open.


My armpit was still a bit tender but so much less painful and the scar from where Lumpy was removed was healing nicely. All appeared well and the surgeon was quite rightly pleased with his handiwork. He explained what it was OK for me to do and what it was not OK for me to do. I suggested washing up and hoovering might be placed on the 'not to do' list but he went on to extol the virtues and health benefits of hoovering! As he demonstrated the action involved all I could picture was this lovely, dignified medic in drag singing 'I want to break free!' The breast care nurse present looked shocked and asked him "What? Do you hoover?" "Yes, yes, you need a Dyson!" he replied. I wondered for a moment if there was some subliminal advertising borne out of a secret NHS sponsorship deal going on here, but sent the thought packing immediately!

All was well and we could look to move on to the next stage of treatment. There was just one tiny little cloud in the sky. The way the pathology report had been written up was 'a bit strange' and my surgeon was just waiting to hear back from the lab to confirm it was a clerical issue and not a problem. I asked what this meant and he explained it was to do with the margin of healthy tissue around where the tumour had been. The worst scenario was I'd need a bit more surgery but it was likely that the problem lay in the way the report had been written. The pathologist wasn't available yet as it was only 8.45am and we were told we could go home and they'd 'phone me or we could wait. We opted to stay and sat in the waiting room- feeling a bit stunned to be honest.  

After a short time, we were called back in to see the consultant and given the news that I would need a second operation as I was 50mm short of the amount of clear tissue required. I won't pretend I wasn't gutted at this news. Chris once again asked all the right questions as I retracted into my own little world for a while to dip my toes in the pool of self pity. The date of the surgery was unsure- possibly three weeks away on 10th October. This seemed an eternity off and threw a spanner in the works of our plan to go to The Hub and tell folks what was happening. Instead we went home, made a cup of tea and  just sat with this news for a while.

On the way out of the unit we'd bumped into my allocated breast care nurse. She'd asked how I was and I didn't really respond as she was with another patient and I didn't really have the words. Later that afternoon she 'phoned me and explained again what the bigger picture was. She was also able to give me the good news that it was likely I could have the surgery sooner on 3rd October. This reassurance was a real boost. That evening I dipped into my own personal toolkit in order to lead the first session of  the scheduled Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course. Being in the cosy energy of The Hub surrounded by positive folks was a real tonic and I went home and slipped into a deep, healing sleep. 

The following week I was mostly occupied with preparations for Brave The Shave and a Retreat so there was little time, and little point, in giving too much thought to Lumpy's revenge. And what a lovely week it turned out to be! The perfect group came together for a Reiki 1 course, a couple of powerful Relaxation and Meditation sessions and lots of positivity at The Hub. Donations for Brave The Shave far exceeded any expectations we may have had and people really pulled out the stops in supporting the '#111happyhats' posts.

The hat thing did cause a few scary moments for one lovely lady as she came round after a deep healing treatment only to find me standing there with an elephant's head. I did think of whipping it off and telling her it must have been a visitation from Ganesh. However, I've never seen a Ganesh with pink fluffy ears so I opted instead to apologise and offer her a cuppa. Definitely a reminder to me to remember what's on my head at all times!

Liz x

The High Road and some Low bits

Chris and I love The Lake District but there is no mistaking the unique beauty of Scotland. The freshness of the air, the vastness of the lowland forests. I truly love this country and am proud to say that my ancestors walked this land. We had an easy journey North and arrived at Samye-Ling after a pleasant three hour drive punctuated by a picnic at Gretna Green.

Thursday and Friday were awesome as we immersed ourselves in the sound, authentic teaching of Julie Wise and Greg Horner. Drum Journeying, learning about the Medicine Wheel, so much to take in and we absolutely basked in it. All in all, it was a real, all round deep and profound experience.








Waking up on Saturday morning I was aware of pain in my armpit and upped the meds. By lunchtime I wasn't feeling too good at all so opted to miss the awesome Samye-Ling food and get some rest. An afternoon sleeping worked wonders and I so enjoyed the Saturday evening session. However, Sunday wasn't a good day. (I could reframe that into 'Sunday wasn't quite such a wonderful day as it might have been' but I've already reframed it from 'Sunday was a fecking nightmare!') The Retreat finished with us dismantling the Medicine Wheel we'd created and closing the Directions. Very poignant and I wouldn't have missed any of that for the world. However, I was certainly struggling physically. Pain from swelling in my armpit wasn't touched by anything other than the stronger meds and they wore off far too quickly. The journey home was very painful with every bump in the road rattling through my body.


I've promised to be real in this blog and this bit of the journey was a bit grim. To cut a longer story short, I'd taken all the pain relief I could for one day and was still very uncomfortable. I contacted 111 who suggested going to Urgent Care where I'd probably be seen within 3 hours. I opted to stay snuggled up in bed but the swelling and pain got worse. I then sought advice from a higher source and checked my symptoms out with a lovely Reiki Nursey friend. She too said go to hospital as it sounded like I had an infection. So, when Chris got home from a Sound Bath we set off for Blackburn A&E. The full waiting room and flashing sign telling us there was less of a wait at Burnley, Preston and Wigan suggested we'd be there for some time. However, after just 40 minutes I was taken through triage and moved into a cubicle and given pain relief. The staff were rushed off their feet and this experience gave me a real insight into what these dedicated folks face every day. Patients worse the wear for alcohol, angry men demanding immediate attention for their woman or child and a very distressed and frightened gentleman with dementia who required restraint by security, alongside gentle reassurance from a kind and patient nurse. In the context of what was going on around me, I was content to be on a comfy bed in cubicle with an IV antibiotic drip starting to tackle the infection.

I did feel rather sorry for the junior doctor who was treating me. I think he'd been off on the day they practiced taking blood from an orange at medical school. After his second aborted attempt to find a vein, the poor chap had the air of a man facing erectile dysfunction, "I can usually get it in fine, may-be I'm just tired." I persuaded him to have another bash at it and he agreed to one last try and if that failed he'd get a nurse to do it! Chris and I stifled the urge to applaud as he managed to take my blood. Just as I suspect he stifled the urge to do a lap of honour around the cubicle with his well-fitting designer shirt over his head!

Once again, I experienced only kindness from every over-worked, fully-stretched, exhausted member of the medical staff that I came across. At 2am another doctor came along to assess me for ward allocation. This was a shock to both myself and Chris. I think I'd gone to A&E with the assumption they'd give me stronger pain relief and antibiotics and send me on my way. However, around 3.30am I found myself being pushed through Blackburn hospital to Surgical Triage by a lovely young lass who handled the wayward wheels of the hefty wheelchair with grace and panache! 

I was checked-in by a tired nightshift nurse who drew the short straw as my cubicle didn't have a light that worked. The poor lass had to use her phone to see the form she had to complete. Personally I didn't give a shit about anything now as the morphine had kicked in. Once again, I saw how hard the night shift work- there's no sitting around reading Women's Weekly for these folks- if anything it's busier than day time. The next doctor I saw, however, did worry me when she reassured me they'd make sure I was taken over to Burnley on Thursday for my follow-up from surgery appointment. Four days in hospital? Four days away from Chris? That really was a grim bit and I will confess to feeling emotional. I chucked every bit of Reiki at myself that I could muster and also gave myself a strong talking to before drifting off to sleep.
 
Around 8.30am I was seen by the surgeon on duty who told me I could go home as the antibiotics could continue in tablet form. Quite honestly I could have snogged the man and may have considered having his babies were my womb still active! I texted Chris who came straight over and we fled with the pace of a flying bedpan.

Over the next few days, the scar in my armpit opened and the Lymphedema drained itself. Yes it was messy but oh the relief! A trip to Burnley to get it dressed and the reassurance of my lovely breast care nurse put me back on track and by Thursday I was starting to feel human again. Just in time to go to get the biopsy results from surgery. I certainly felt I'd weathered a storm, turned a corner and my positivity was restored. 


                                                                                                                                 Liz X

A firm foundation for recovery!

Certain conversations stand out in my dalliance with Lumpy and the Lymph Nodes. One statement vividly casts a chilling shadow over the journey. Was it, "I'm 99% certain the lump is cancer"? Was it, "You're going to have to have surgery"? Was it, "You'll need six cycles of chemotherapy"?

No, none of the above. What bothered me most was when the lovely Miss Gawne told me, "You'll need to wear a bra after surgery!"

Having discarded my last instrument of torture after the 2006 London Marathon, I have been a contented inhabitant of vests for many years. I've always said, a bra is as much use to me as a Securicor van- I have little to carry around in either! But Miss Gawne warned me that the hard work in surgery would be undone if I didn't re-enter the world of the foundation garment. Chris found this all rather amusing- a bit too amusing I feel. And it was with great relish that she arrived home one day with two monstrous sports bras. No way on this planet were either of those contraptions going anywhere near my blue and battered booby! So, in the absence of an adult-sized liberty bodice, I settled instead for one of Chris's old bras. An interesting colour that had evolved from decades of sharing a washing machine with all manner of shades.

So, armed with this trusty support, what was it OK to do? My feet started to twitch and I was raring to go and get back to my busy life. Truth was that I couldn't. Apart from the fact that Chris and those closest to me had laid down the law regarding recovery, I just didn't have the energy to do much. My mind was active but my body was fooked. I asked my lovely breast care nurse whether this was to do with the cancer or the cancer treatment. Her reply was- its both so just rest. I couldn't really argue with that! I did get some Hub admin done and was quite chuffed with myself for managing to order incense on line. But who'd have known that 'a box' meant a box of 12 boxes! I started to realise why the post-op advice included 'do not sign any legal documents and do not make important decisions'.

In the days immediately after surgery, Chris and I had the luxury of time. Time to plan some changes at home- tidying, organising, preparing for winter and stuff that we'd need some help with. So we had a quiet few restful yet constructive days up to and over the weekend. Chris changed the green summer covers on the suite for my favourite Autumn red and we snuggled up in the front room for most of the weekend in front of a log fire watching our favourite 'Escape to the Country' and other easy viewing on TV. Cosy, relaxed and fun- putting the 'hehe' into healing and most definitely starting to see the gift in this situation!


On Monday A couple of guys arrived at 8am to do some jobs for us. Its fair to say, our last few busy years had led to us neglecting our home somewhat. And it was so good to get the kitchen, hall and landing decorated. And we finally got the new bath fitted that had been propped up in the front bedroom for 6 months because no one could find the stop cock to turn off the water!

All the hard work was
accompanied by kindness and
humour. Not least the day I was snoozing. There was a knock at the door and in walked two grufty builders to tell me it was time for my bed bath! The bath in question was our old one that I'd heard them swearing at earlier- now sitting in two pieces outside the front door!


I definitely felt loved and cared for- by those immediately around me who were focused on my greatest and highest good- despite my resistance at times. And one massive source of support was the healing so many folks were sending me. I was very much conscious of a Reiki cloud that was just waiting for me to draw from whenever I had a bit of a wobble. I did return to work after the weekend- if leading a Relaxation and Meditation group can be called work! And just over a week after surgery Chris and I set of for a Shamanic Retreat we'd booked before I knew Lumpy was lurking. From surgery to Scotland in eight days!



 



                                                                                                                       Liz X