Half way to half way

So off we went back to Burnley for chemo 3 like a pair of seasoned pros. Chris is getting quite good at the chemo lingo and I'm getting quite good at remembering the lunch options. I'd noticed the previous couple of weeks that, though I'd slept in the afternoon after the treatments, I'd been awake quite a bit during the night. The Piriton part of the pre-meds knocks me out so forcing myself to stay awake isn't really an option. But Tuesday nights were starting to feel long and challenging. So we decided to try something different- having a nap on the sofa and staying downstairs until bedtime. So we lit the fire before we set off and checked what time 'Escape to the Country' was on- our perfect afternoon indulgence!


The cannula was fitted easily and I was settled in the chemo room by the lovely mural view before we knew it. The pre-meds were put in the drip and I was waiting for the Piriton and the tiredness it brings. However, I started to feel drowsy straight away and told myself this must all be in my head until I realised we were ready for the chemo and the Piriton had gone in without me being aware. So the tiredness is far from in my head. Its a weird sensation- not unpleasant but resisting and trying to concentrate on anything is futile. As my appointment was a bit later than previous weeks, I was given lunch as soon as the chemo was set up. It was a strange sensation sitting eating soup and a sandwich with poison trickling into my veins. So I set about inserting a bit of woowoo into the proceedings, Reikied the drip and visualised the chemo as a beautiful golden light lolloping around my body zapping dodgy cells Pac-Man style. This light works in league with my millions of healthy cells to keep me well. My chemo experience was complete when Chris found a stash of Club biscuits and I drifted off to sleep humming a strange little medley of 'If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club' and 'Every little cell in my body is happy...!'





We got home in time to get the compulsory post-chemo toasted teacakes ready just in time to watch a couple who wanted to relocate to Wales find their perfect home. With the bonus of some rather special Ginger biscuits- a gift from a lovely Hubbit.


The change in routine worked and I had a much better night, waking to a rather beautiful sunrise on Wednesday. One of my lessons in this journey is accepting the need to rest before I feel the need to rest. So Wednesday was a designated rest day with a trip over to The Sanctuary for a Theragem treatment. I'm conscious of the need to boost my immunity and help my white blood cells and the treatments available at The Sanctuary feel right. To be honest, I've not read up on the details of the treatments but intuitively it feels right and I trust Tony's wisdom and the lovely folks who are supporting me there. Wednesday night was another evening by the fire followed by a really good night's sleep. Thursday was a Hub day with Meditation at lunchtime, Drumming in the afternoon, soup at teatime and an introductory Astrology talk in the evening and OK, so I may have nodded off during the talk but it was a good day! Friday I went over and played at our lunchtime Full Moon Gong Bath before another afternoon at The Sanctuary. I worked Saturday as we ran a Vision Board Workshop but rested Sunday. And this alternating doing stuff with rest days seems to be working. There's a logic to it really on an energetic level. I mean I don't let my van completely run out of petrol before topping it up do I? So why would I do that with my body?

So, lots of rest by the fire and that vital non-prescription medication of toasted teacakes!
One of the benefits of rest time is having space to just observe what is going on within me as well as around me. It would do me no good whatsoever to analyse every physical symptom and feeling and I have no need or desire to get caught up in discussing the medical stuff. In fact, other than writing this blog, the medical stuff seldom comes up. Yes, I'll be honest with people when they ask me how I am. One thing I've noticed is that when I say I'm fine (which I mostly am) this is sometimes followed by the question "But how are you really?" No- I really am fine. Some folks are still unconvinced and take Chris off to one side to ask, "But how is she really?" I do realise this is to do with folks' own expectations around cancer and chemotherapy and certainly doesn't need to define my journey.

All in all, things are going well and this has been a good week. I think the balance of knowing what I need to know about the medical stuff without getting stuck in going over and over it is working for me. The holistic accompaniments to the medical stuff are most certainly making a massive difference. Receiving healing from others balanced with taking responsibility for my own wellbeing through rest, self-healing, meditation and time with the awesome Gongs and Drums can definitely not be underestimated. And one massive factor here is the love and support I'm receiving from so many genuine people who make time for me in so many quiet and considerate ways. Not least, through humour and accepting my need for a light hearted dance rather than aggressive battling, smashing or fighting. And I think that 'getting it' response from folks is best summed up in the 'Happy Hats' thing!

Chemo week 4 with Herceptin beckons so off we jolly well go to Burnley again today! Thanks for reading my blog and for the many wonderful messages of support. It really does make such a difference.

Liz x