Gunpowder, Ginger and Herceptin

Though the dying yellow flump image had been sent packing, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a significance in starting treatment on Bonfire Night' though I'll resist any 'going with a bang' references here!

I slept well on Sunday night. Yes I was awake for about an hour from 4.30 but I've perfected the art of Nessidog- proof going within. This involves not opening my eyes when I wake up. I can feel her little eyes burrowing into my head sometimes and that requires a bit of a grunty snore on my part to convince her I'm really still asleep. And then I just spend time strolling around my own inner landscape. Sometimes I go into the silence of nothingness, sometimes I connect with Reiki and send healing Light out to wherever I feel drawn to but just lately I've been on more of an observational path. I seem to wake up with no thoughts. The first time this happened was after my first Gong Puja. A whole night of playing or being in the Sound and vibration of the Gongs. This was at Dev Aura, the House of Light, a beautiful, calm space. I woke next morning with no thoughts in my mind. It was as though potential thoughts were floating just in front of me, to the left, in a menu and I could chose which, if any, to allow into my mind. Yes, that Dev Aura awakening was in the land of WooWoo, but this experience has become more consistent and easily available the more I practice Mindfulness in its wider sense. Anyway, I spent my waking time on Sunday night just watching thoughts appear and pass on by. I used the metaphor of the permanence and clarity of my mind being the clear blue sky of a warm Summers day. Each thought that visited was just a temporary little cloud that either drifted away or evaporated. This process gets easier the more you work with it- alone or, better still, within the energy of a group. Want the peace? Put the work in! So Sunday night was very much the perfect preparation for Monday.

Monday was an early start and we were a bit caught up in traffic. However, with a minute to spare we pulled into a space right outside the Unit and Chris displayed our new parking permit with such a glee. Even with pausing to take a quick photo, we still got to reception on time.



After a short but not unpleasant wait, we were taken down to one of the private treatment/consultation rooms. Lovely lilac walls and matching chairs and a gorgeous Autumn view out of the window. The nurse who was looking after me talked us through the morning ahead. I was given paracetamol as Herceptin can cause a headache and given a bit of time for it to take effect as the syringe warmed up so the injection would be more comfortable. Even I'm getting sick of my 'will I feel a bit of a prick' comment so refrained on this occasion. Instead I just nipped in to the still point at the end of the in-breath and breathed calmly. It was 
harder for Chris (as so much of this journey is) sitting watching a needle being inserted into my leg. Fortunately the entertainment value of noticing my knickers were on inside out took the edge off. Does anyone else do that? What's the point of seams anyway!




After the injection I had to wait on the unit for an hour and a half to make sure I didn't have any reaction- hints of the flump again but a quick 'haha be gone' sorted that out! The larger room where most chemotherapy treatments are administered is really lovely. A beautiful woodland mural with bluebells and the morning sun peeping through those trees that grow tall in the heart of the forest.
The chairs are comfy, there's a TV on silent with subtitles and, best of all, we were introduced to the kettle and told to help ourselves to hot drinks and biscuits. This is very much The Hub way- folks will feel so much more at home if they know they can make themselves a cuppa whenever they want to. Our only disappointment was that 'Escape to the Country' wasn't on but instead we half watched that programme where a red and a blue team are given money and try to beat each other by being the ones to make most profit by buying tat at a market and selling it later at auction. I think if we went on it we'd buy a cup of tea, auction the polystyrene cup as 'once used by Elvis to balance a burger on' and make a killing! Even if the cup didn't sell we'd probably still win. Our £299.50 left over after the cuppa would be more than the other team made from buying ancient chamber pots and antique jewellery that turned out to be from Taiwan and made in 2014.

During our stay we had several cuppas and scoffed our way through a fair few medicinal ginger biscuits. We were even offered lunch but it was nearly time for us to acknowledge I'd survived and set off home. 

An easy drive back along the motorway and a bit of lunch- just had to be Heinz Tomato soup! Then I went off to bed as I was feeling tired and a bit odder than usual. Chris went over to The Hub later and I spent time just being really. I couple of Sudokus, a bit of reading, lots of snoozing and then a healthy, hearty veggie stew when Chris came home.

Credit must go to our beasties for their cuddles and attention throughout this day. The ever distant but watchful Ella, Nessidog of course, the hero who is Dexter and an occasional brief visit from Nellie (she is plotting something on the allotment. No idea what but she's down there a lot. I'm hoping its a pagoda with a little walled herb garden and a pond).  One of our little family seems to have a new role as 'Chemo Cat' as Bella-Betty is never far away these days, much to Nessidog and Dexter's annoyance. The dynamics between them is fascinating. But their unconditional acceptance and love for us is unquestionable.

All in all a rather good day. Tuesday, with Chemo proper starting, loomed on the horizon but our time on the unit for the Herceptin left us even more reassured than before that all would be well.

Liz x