Chaperones and sharper needles!

So there I was, walking along a hospital corridor with my chaperone. Before long I was lying on a bed wearing half a gown with my left breast bare, as though I were about to be sacrificed in some bizarre
Masonic ritual. Instead, a rather handsome doctor entered stage left baring a tube of lubrication and a buzzing implement. (I'll let you delve into your own repertoire of innuendo here).

The ultrasound examination itself was long and methodical with particular attention to my left armpit. I was surprised at how calm I felt. There really were few thoughts in my head and this remained the case when the doctor explained he was going to do a biopsy. I think its fair to say the words 'prick' and 'nipple' have never been in such close proximity with reference to my anatomy, and I can't say this was an experience I would have opted for on a Wednesday afternoon. I won't pretend the procedure wasn't painful because it was. But once again I found myself calm, relaxed and nestled firmly within the still point at the end of the in-breath. I was so grateful to this doctor for his directness and honesty. It would surely have been easier for him to tell me to come back next week for the results. Instead he explained he was 99% certain the lump was cancer and I would need surgery. I was to be referred to one of the hospital's very best surgeons. I must admit to feeling relief that I wasn't being referred to a crap one. Imagine that- "This is Mr Smith, all the good surgeons are busy today but he really tries hard and has a heart of gold!".

Lovely Mrs chaperone went to get Chris and we were ushered into a pleasant little room and offered tea and biscuits. The next half hour or so is a bit of a blur but there was talk of lumpectomy or mastectomy, radiotherapy and hormone drugs. We were introduced to a breast care nurse who very gently held space. Chris asked questions and I sat calmly re-running the Victoria Wood sketch in my mind where she says that as a youngster she never wanted breasts, she wanted Meccano.  

Leaving the hospital that day I knew it was going to be a long two weeks before my appointment to see the consultant. Chris and I had some decisions to make. We decided to tell as few people as possible and to carry on as normal. And normal for us was lots of Gonging, a weekend Stone Circling in the Lakes and a Reiki Drum course. The appointment came round in no time at all and we approached it with a Reiki-fuelled optimism as we trundled back along the M65 for our first meeting with Miss Gawne.

 

 

In the peace and calm of The Lakes and a bit of Stone Circling at Long Meg and Castlerigg.